Bullies

Can I just tell y'all how frakking SICK AND TIRED I am of BULLIES frakking up other people's lives?!?!

You encounter these asshats in elementary, junior high, and high school, and you think: That's it. I'll never have to deal with these people again once I'm out of school. Once I'm in college. Once I get a full-time job.

But it's not true. They appear and re-appear, again and again, everywhere you go, throughout your whole damn life. AND I AM SICK OF IT.

Whatever your PROBLEM is that makes you behave this way, whatever it is that makes you talk down to me, whatever it is that makes you verbally attack me out of the clear blue sky when I least expect/deserve it, GET OVER IT.

Whatever it is that makes you set people up to fail, whatever it is that drives you to undermine people at every turn, whatever it is that makes you want to publicly humiliate and invalidate others: KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF.

Seriously, man. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. I'm sick of it happening to me, I'm sick of it happening to my friends and former co-workers, and I'm sick of it happening to my husband. I'm sick of workplaces that harbor, encourage, and promote bullies.

This has GOT to stop. But it won't until everyone agrees to call it out.

We, as a society of grownups, cannot let this behavior continue.

Thank you.

< /rant >

Time

Time.

Time. Flowin' like a river, to the sea.

Time keeps on slippin'... slippin'... slippin'... into the future.

No time for a summer friend;
No time for the love you send;
Seasons change, and so did I...
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There's no time left for you
No time left for you.

This is a post about... TIME.

This year, I, like many people, find myself unemployed at the holidays. This is the first time in my adult life that I have experienced this! I’m finding it to be a VERY eye-opening experience…

My employment ended in October, and my husband and I decided I should just relax through the holidays; I needed some time to recover from the loss of my job, which I held for the past 16 years. I am enjoying this time off more than I could possibly have imagined!

There’s the predictable stuff:

* Having time to actually SHOP in a leisurely fashion, rather than just grabbing the first thing I see;

* Being able to lovingly WRAP and PACK gifts for far-away peeps, rather than having Amazon do it;

* Not RUSHING everywhere!

But the most interesting thing I’m experiencing – and the most surprising to me – is how differently I’m moving through the world.

I’m not gonna lie. After trying to work full-time AND manage a household AND look after my son for the past twelve years, I. WAS. A. MESS. Emotions I experienced daily included but were not limited to: anger, disgust, resentment, frustration, mind-numbing sadness, loneliness, and self-loathing. But it had gotten to where I just didn’t know any other way. This was just the way life was, I told myself. It was just the way *I* was. Life is hard, right? Suck it up.

So, when I found myself unexpectedly freed from my life in the Hamster Wheel of the Full-time Working Mom, I was absolutely amazed at the effect it had on me. I literally TRANSFORMED. After about the first week, I felt noticeably lighter! The tension and anxiety I’ve struggled with for years has VANISHED. I move through the world differently. Interact with my friends, family, and even strangers differently. I’m warmer, kinder, more forgiving, more relaxed. No more anger toward everyone in my way (and believe me when I tell you, EVERYONE WAS IN MY WAY). No more anger at the slow barista/driver/grocery checker. All of a sudden, everything is like water off a duck’s back! AMAZING!

So… Am I enjoying the holidays? I can answer that with a resounding YES! For what may well be the first time in my son’s 12 years, I am indeed enjoying the holidays. Again I say: AMAZING.

While I don’t wish unexpected unemployment on anyone, as it is quite traumatic, I DO wish that all moms could take a nice, long break from the Hamster Wheel. I wish all moms could experience the transformative power of TIME, and PEACE. I’m not overstating it when I say: It will change your life, and that of the people around you, for the better.

Best holiday wishes to you. I hope the new year finds us all slowing down just a bit, so that we can enjoy the things that really matter.