Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Having heard yet ANOTHER story of a gal being unceremoniously dumped -- via FB no less -- by a man she thought she loved... Well, I got to thinkin'.

What in the HOLY HELL is UP with people sabotaging other people?!?!

I'm not just talking about romantic sabotage, although there's plenty of THAT to be sure. I'm talking about LIFE sabotage. Sisters sabotaging sisters; mothers sabotaging sons; friends sabotaging friends.

Now, if you have a legitimate beef with someone, that's fine. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people who create issues out of thin air, then use these issues to upset YOUR apple cart. People who sabotage YOUR life, for no apparent reason and when you least expect it.

As you may have gathered by now, I have been on the receiving end of this sort of behavior from time to time. Well, okay -- more times than I care to count. And, like my various lady friends and their dead-end love affairs, I NEVER see it coming. EVER. At age 44, I hafta say, I don't think I ever will.

Why IS that? Why do we not see it coming? Well, if you're a saboteur, you're gonna keep it pretty well hidden, right? Otherwise, you won't have anyone to pull the proverbial rug out from UNDER, as it were. So, you're prolly good at masking whatever it is that's gonna make you do this. Which is... what, exactly? What makes people DO this to people they supposedly love? Sometimes after years and years of friendship, or a life-long familial connection?

My hunch? Self loathing. Self-loathers are, almost by definition, self absorbed. They can't be depended on for much, but they CAN be depended on to make everything about THEMSELVES. They are experts at setting OTHER people up to make some sort of "mistake". Then, they can get mad/hurt/offended, and feel superior/victimized/appalled. I guarantee you, they don't even know they're DOIN' it, so they won't be able to stop themselves, and there you'll be, sabotaged once again, feelin' like a damn fool for the eleventy-squillionth time.

You might be wondering about the curious image I chose for this post. It's a tarot card! Although I don't believe in prophecy of any kind, I DO think tarot cards are super-rad lookin'. This one is called a "Five of Swords". Some think that getting this card, in the "reversed" (upside-down) position, is a harbinger of destructive meddling, malicious gossip, and, yes, sabotage. (I musta been dealt a whole deck o' these bad-boys at BIRTH. BWHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHA)

So anyhoo... Does any of this help you? Does it help ME? No. I'm really just thinkin' out loud here. Trying desperately to figure out WHY I keep seeing this pattern of behavior repeat, in my own life and in the lives of others. Trying to make sense of something that makes no sense.

All I can say to you peeps who are enduring this type of nonsense is: It's NOT you. It's NOT your fault. You are not alone. Don't let the asshats get you down.

I turn now, as I often do, to the lyrics of Ms. Janis Ian, from her song "From Me to You":

Those people who surround you
Only want to see you weak enough to crawl
They'll lie for you
Decide for you
And buy up all your rights and all your wrongs
And they'll try to stop your singing
In the middle of your song
For they do not want you free
And they will not keep you strong
But only drag you down in the hole they're coming from


David Pratt said...


Kathy said...

You seem to taken the words right out of my mouth. It must come down to self-loathing otherwise others success or happiness wouldn't bother others. You have to be pretty low in your own life to begrudge others' own good fortunes. From experience, I know it hurts to have someone you thought you could count on intentionally ruin you. I'm trying to overcome those very feelings right now in my life, and I'm not making much headway. I can scarcely think about it much less move on. And I'll *never* understand it.